Everything I ask for
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possibly funny.
i was watching the news today. on channel news asia. a korean president died. i don't know from which part of korea but apparently, he jumped off a hill or mountain or something like that.and then there was this part about the new indian prime minister being willing to extend some friendly hand or something to pakistan provided they.. something something.
funny thing was, while saying he wanted to promote friendship, he sounded so bored. political speeches are amsuing. the way i see it, their definition of "friendly" is kinda just a stable relationship between the two countries. you're stable, i'm stable. we're both stable! heck friendly! i can't really remember what he said. but if i were THE RULER OF ZE UNIVERSE and had to, like, make some speech to maintain friendly ties with the aliens from pluto, i imagine i would say the following:
" today, we are gathered at this ,uh, peaceful gathering. we... are willing to *looks at paper and inhales* extend our very *cough* warm and friendly greeting towards you pluto beings. we mean to harm! *gives the vulcan sign* so *stares at paper* let us be friendly!"
and the aliens, who probably don't understand english, start whiping out their watergun-like laser guns and start blasting holes into everyone.
anyway, on thursday, we had to stay back for literature. minyee, huiyi and i were fashionably late and we were all happy and stuff cuz we bought kinder joy (joy!) so we wanted to open and it and enjoy the creamy sweet stuff and one of the egg halves. then all of a sudden, this pug-faced weirdo pops out of no where and we're all " who's that? is it a teacher? oh.. it's a relief teacher... oh well!"
so it asked us to start doing the papers and got all stern with us and asked us to get into "Exam mode" cuz we appeared to not take it seriously... which i admit was completely true. anyhoo, someone happened to mouth a bad word and its twitchy pug eyes swivled towards theperson.
then she started getting all big and saying how we were 16 but blah blah bla. you know, the normal adult to rebelling youngins speech. except it was pretty young. and acting allllll big and mighty! ooh! haha but anyway, according to linghui, when it was in scold mode, its head kept bobbing from side to side haha.
i was laughing so much after lit.
hao le. wo jiu ge bi le.
zhu ni
shin ti jian kang!
shi xian shang
On Sunday, May 24, 2009 at 4:25 AM
her morning elegance
awesome stop- motion vid and song by Oren Lavie.
wonder how long it took to make
On Saturday, February 28, 2009 at 8:28 PM
air head
i feel extremely detached from everything right now. my nose is completely blocked and i seriously feel like digging a hole and huddling in there just to see how much warmer it is than my room.here's something random for you guys to chew on. my mom brought back this turquoise coloured tissue back that says "cutie". and on it is the most ridiculously hideous thing i've ever seen.at first i thought it was a baby. but on closer inspection of the offending creature, i realise that it's in a sumo stance and.... there's this tiny piece of cloth down there that i accidentally mistook *ahem cough* for something else. BUT IN ANY CASE, "cutie" and scary baby-like sumo do not suit each other.
okay fine... sumo dude isn't all that hideous but he is undeniably the weirdest thing i've seen. today. his hair looks uncannily like a baby's bonnet... alright... so maybe it's a BABY SUMO.
that's one fat baby sumo.
i'm looking at a 2 dollar note now and i noticed that they've printed Yusof bin Ishak face with great detail. he even has eye bags! i haven't come up with silly book titles for, what. two years? i remember in sec one i used to come up with a lot of strange things... so since i'm bored i'll just come up with another nonexistent book!
THE GUIDE TO SEC FOUR LIFE
Prologue:
welcome and thank you for buying this book. remember, for every book you buy, i become 10 bucks richer! so first things first, i would to establish that:
YOU'RE SEC FOUR. YOU HAVE NO LIFE.
now, with that in mind, put down this book for a second, go grab some chips and pack up on those carbs.
now pick the book up again. throughout the year, it's gonna be braincells massacre galore! the chips don't really help. it's just comfort food. don't fret yet friend. just remember, your mom and dad love you loads. i, on the other hand, couldn't care less but nevertheless, i shall give you some advice. this should be your routine:
go school, come home, eat, study, sleep. oh and bathe.
good luck, i hope you make it.
-END
On Saturday, February 21, 2009 at 8:18 AM
ULTIMATE BOREDOM
TODAY, I WENT SO SCHOOL FEELING LIKE I RUBBED SAND PAPER IN MY EYES. in other words, i was abso-positutly tired beyond anything. and when i'm tired, i go all crazy. i went around telling people about the show i watched last night on Okto. there was some people to actually eat hornet larvae (i am tellin ya. that thing is GROSS) and how the more matured ones have to have their shit squeezed out. i'm telling you, the process was gross. the lady squeezed the white larvae and this long brown thing came out and she used her bare hands to pull it out.i know.
it's more graphic than anything i've ever seen before.
just imagine. the gross squish-worthy larvae is about 4 cm in length and a lil more than 1 cm in diameter. IT'S SHIT WAS PROBABLY ABOUT 3 CM LUH!
on a brighter note, Clarissa told me another sequel to the "GREAT JOKES OF PAN!" (pronounced as p-ah-n).
if pan lao shi ever called her son or her daughter dar (say it singaporean style : dah), then their name would be Pan Dar!ahaha it probably doesn't sound as funny as it should but i was laughing so much. the first few jokes were super funny! we were talking (more like spluttering since we were laughing so much) what would happen if she named her kids cake, peter, or frying. ahaha it was mad.
anyhoo, apparently our school has a new song. one that sounds like an elevator song (an annoying one i might add). i feel kinda sorry for the girl who composed cuz it wasn't all that welcomed (hah even the primary kids were stoned about it!) but seriously. it caused me a headache for the entire day cuz it got stuck in my head and was playing on loop, over, and over, and adfiubsdgibakjgvagva.
and if i rememebr correctly, the lyrics were:
la dee da doo doo dee dee da (yea. we have baby language on the first line)i really really hope they dont make us sing this every monday. who even suggested this anyway? it's not like we're short of school songs! i still remember in primary 1, they gave us a thick book full of songs. i threw it away soon after that. but my point is, why do we need
good morning ** ********
zao an to you too(veh random hor, whole song in english then suddenly one "zao an" pop up)
it's a new day ** ********
too cool for school ( i think)
it's a new day ** ********
something something something
hula hula wehaveweirduniforms
dancing spiders islets of Langerhans
da dee da doo doo dee dee da, da doo. (and it ends with baby lang too! awesome ya? it's like we don't know how to speak!)
cheers! :)
On Friday, February 20, 2009 at 5:36 AM
huiyi's etiphany
i shall narrate this in third person. cuz i've never done that before. it seems fun!
a couple of weeks ago during another dull lesson of geography, a girl named huiyi had a sudden realisation of a topic completely unrelated to human geography! so she decided to tell her sitting partner, rachel, of her sudden thought.
"you know right, adam and eve... they had kids right? then their kids had... kids with each other! isn't that like incest? and then now incest is banned!"
rachel, at this point, was wondering why her friend was paying so much attention to stuff from the bible because considering that despite both of them being born christians, they had never attended church for sunday sessions. ever. okay so maybe rachel sat in for one a long time ago. but that wasnt the point. she realised that huiyi's sudden realisation was... correct!
so both of them ignored the geog teacher and started talking about incest and why it was banned.
THE END! (credits to huiyi for her train of thought:))
my little cousin had a birthday party yesterday and gave out some goody bags with dora the explorer on it. the dora on mine had asian skin (huang pi). hahaha not meant to be a racist comment i swear! it's just so funny.
On Saturday, January 31, 2009 at 7:54 PM
happy early chinese new yarh
yay! in commemoration of chinese new year (and because of boredom), i have changed my blogskin again! despite having changed it quite a few times. AH WELL. don't matter that much! AND NEVER YOU MIND THE FACT THAT I CHOSE A BLOGSKIN THAT HAS LINDSAY LOHAN ON IT... the pattern was nice...i've been home folding paper "baskets" for people to put pistachios in or whatever nuts they can find lying around the house (right now we only have watermelon seeds. how do you even eat those?)
anyway this is the vid. it's pretty clear unless of course you're a newbie or.. have no affinity with paper craft (glares at chengmei). haha i bet she forgot how to fold a paper crane. wouldn't be the first time..
man sec four is like GRUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR. there are no words that i can use to describe it. it's.. nuts and i come home everyday feeling like someone boxed me in the eyes cuz they feel so swollen and sting plus i have a teacher who i shall refer to as "alien person" or just "monster" for convenience sake. it's not that's it's mean or anything it's just the monster's emotional stability's a bit off... blame it on the menopause i suppose (oh joy! now we all know the monster's gender!).
on tuesday the micromouse gang trooped down to the science center for competition! so we all got freebies - this...smal black bag. i think i left mine some where there... it's was so frustrating looking at all the other bots then looking at ours and thinking "ah shit!" seriously. when it was our turn, IT DIED! not once, not twice, but A WHOPPING 438O5489543958 TIMES.
everytime it's just bout to set off, it dies. good luck fellow juniors on pleading for a new bot. the school's too "poor" to spare money for one well performing robot. that's right! no money, no robot. no robot, no productivity. no productivity, we get lectured on not being productive enough. BLAH.
on another note, there was another attack over at virginia tech. yes. this one was also commited by an asian. i'll spare ye the gory details. now all the american's will look at us asians as being crazed knife /gun wielding barbarians like our ancestors (or not, depending where your family tree sprouted from) a looooooooooooooooooong time ago.
kidding.
XING NIAN KUAI LE! SHEN TI JIAN KANG! I DON'T WANNA GROW FATTER!
On Saturday, January 24, 2009 at 4:24 AM
evil duds
i woke up today at a quarter to twelve and mopped around the house like some ghost. then i went to turn on the computer to play *drum roll*.... runescape! haha much to my dad's annoyance.so after a while, crystal started talking to me on msn about humanities hw. ahah she was freaking out cuz she couldn't find the stuff on edulearn. then i started freaking out cuz MY NEW FT IS MAKING US PAY FOR EVERY PIECE OF HOMEWORK WE DON'T HAND UP! then we were talking about evil teachers and laughing about silly puns:
FUZZY GREEN MOSS BALLS - MARIMO! says:
darn human teachers!
[b][i] (chin up, smile) [/i][/b] says:
HAHAH
[b][i] (chin up, smile) [/i][/b] says:
she's crazy
[b][i] (chin up, smile) [/i][/b] says:
and they claim to be humans
[b][i] (chin up, smile) [/i][/b] says:
HAHAH note the pun
FUZZY GREEN MOSS BALLS - MARIMO! says:
HAHAHA
so anyways, just in case, i decided to check my account out in case the homework was still there. and while i was searching through the page, i saw the words "HEAVENLY MATHEMATICS" and i was like "hah?" i showed it to crystal and she was wondering why she didn't have it on her account. hahaha in any case it's seriously stupid. the introduction was hilarious.
The goal of this course is to study astronomy in a cultural context.
We will look at questions like:
- How is the date of Chinese New Year determined?
- Why do the Muslim and Chinese months start on different days?
- Will the Moon ever look like it does on the Singapore flag?
- What date of the year is the earliest sunrise in Singapore?
- How did ancient sailors navigate?
After taking this course you will become conscious of the motion of the Sun and the Moon and notice and question things you have earlier taken for granted. You will appreciate mankind's struggle through the ages and throughout the world to understand the mathematics of the heavens.
wow. ultimate enlightenment ya'll! mathematics of the heavens! and will the moon ever look like it does on the singapore flag? well, i dunnoe. the text size gave me a headache so i didnt bother reading it! yay! it will forever remain a mystery.... unless you have it on your edulearn and decide to read it :)
and about appreciating mankind's struggle through the ages.... all i understand about the ages is that men way back then lived up to a max of 35, 40 if he was lucky. and all the kings and queens had sadistic tendencies and enjoyed chopping off peoples heads so much, that they discovered more sadistic ways of killing people! whee!
okay i'm making no sense. i shall attempt to do 10 mathematical questions in the time span of one hour! wish me luck!
On Friday, January 02, 2009 at 10:32 PM
About me
rachel={x:20% pillow fluff, 30% chocolate, 30% random facts, 15% chicken, 5% water}
virgo
15 going 16
Affiliates
CHENGMEI
CHENGO
CRYSTAL
ESTHER
HUIYI
JEAN
JINGYI
JOLENE
SIRIN
SHERLYN
CUPPY CAKE
NOSH
BERNADETTE
XIWEN
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possibly funny.
her morning elegance
air head
ULTIMATE BOREDOM
huiyi's etiphany
happy early chinese new yarh
evil duds
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