today is.. HALLOWEEN! man i dont think i've been this excited about a festival we dont really celebrate. last night while i was bathing, this student in an army costume came down and invited me and my sister to go up for some "trick ot treat" stuff. being in the shower, i obviously declined. my mom described the student as "cute" in the army uniform. she said he was short. which reminded me of that time when i was pri 3. the students who lived right outside my house were uber nice to me. there was this guy called um.. henry? yea. i think it was henry. everytime i come out to cycle, he'd strike up a conversation with me. at that time, i thought he was a pervert because his facial expression is rather.. i think disturbing is the word to describe him. so after a while i got used to it. then one day me mom saw me talking to him and addressing him as "henry" so she said:
mother : ai yoh. no manners! how can you call him by his name only huh? very rude you know!
henry: it's okay really.
rachel: okay. uncle henry
henry: HURHURHUR!

i also recall that when i was pri 4, i was taller than him by half a head.

anyway, to me halloween is the best time of the year! [that is if you live in america] it's candy galore! i went to baltimore and i went to a local pharmacy to get some lozenges and there were shelves full of chocolate bars and big bag fulls of m&m's and.. wow. all those candy which singapore somehow cannot afford to sell here.

i'm starting to feel happy about getting an acoustic. tried playing it but my fingers hurt. the first two string were thin metal and when you press, it hurts. i still dont understand how my mother could mistake an acoustic for a bright pink electric.

and in recent news, my hair got chopped off by and inch because my mother claimed that i have split ends.

food. i'm going to gain weight this holiday. i've been eating a hell lot of stuff. i'd better cut down XD
8:40 PM



i'm slighty more active than usual because i've got the panic! at the disco cd !!!!!! so here's the process of me opening the cd cover to the time where i'm enjoying the music.

- rachel inspects cover
- rachel sees 5 women on the cover of the cd with mismatched legs.
- rachel opens the cover and plastic shards fall onto her lap
- rachel panics
- seeing that the cd is unharmed, she is reliefed. but she is pissed at the manufacturer
- rachel takes out the slip of paper and tries to make sense of the badly typed out lyrics
- rachel gives up and plays the cd
- while listening to the songs, she looks at the receipt that is given to her
- she is surprised at the amount of cd's bought by her g. teacher
- rachel begins to enjoy the songs

so there. those are the very few steps that i follow when i get a new cd. i feel like my mom's mom. you see, just now my mom was going " rachel!!! where is my korean drama cd cover? HUH? WHERE IS ITTT!!!!!!!!!!! I PUT IT HERE JUST NOW!!! WHERE IS IT!!!" and i say " it's probably on teh table. go check." and she goes " but it's not THERE! WHERE IS IT? I PUT IT HERE JUST NOW!" five minutes later after the "adventurous" hunt for a cd cover, she returns to her oh so mature self and bosses everyone about. had japanes food for luch. half way through eating the food, my nose was not clogged up so i could taste and i realised that it's really salty and i loose my apettite.

and i feel like sleeping again. all the excitment is over.. no one to talk to.. so sad... whatever. during guitar lessons, it was so fun because i had a visitor and we starting the lesson of a cheerful note.. and we basically talked most of the time. it's been a long time [a week really] since i had company. someone who knows how to have fun with words! ah. i'm going to take a stroll..

p.s. if you have any new movies you've watched and enjoyed, please tell me. thanks
11:43 PM



for the past [counts] 5 to 6 days, i have been consistantly changing the songs on my blog. why? because everytime i pick a song, when i hear it, i get sick of it. so, i've decided to settle for adam sandler. then agin, i feel like changing it to panic at the disco. man.. i wish i had better things to do.

we went to the malay heritage centre.. and we had LOADS of fun [it's ALL fake. whatever i say, think the opposite. then the post will become either funny or unfunny.] so we had lunch which tasted great! [it tasted like shit. the bee hoon was so hard and the curry puff was disgusting and the tapioca was horrendous.] and all the teachers were really enjoying themselves! [this is true unfortunately. mr tan and adrian wong were caught pushing each other and nudging each other like gay men. then we saw them dancing together.] and we had a great time doing the batic! [it was stupid. i mistaked blue for green and a certain part of my leaf was blue]

okay enough of this nonsense. now. lets continue with " WHAT THINGS ARE IN RACHEL'S WORLD!"

THE STRAIGHTS TIME will become THE CURVY TIMES
[why the curvy times you may ask. in rachels world, everything.. doesnt make sense. the opposite of straight is gay. but that wouldnt do. can you imagine THE GAY TIMES? nope. so we looked at the word from a different perspective.]

GEEKS will become CHICKS!
[why? because geeks rock and it rhymes]

we will call ADAM SANDLER madam sander!
[it makes sense]

pop will cease to exist!
[i like it that way]

WE WILL ALL ACT LIKE MANIACS DAY OR NIGHT!
[more laughs]
1:52 AM



have YOU ever wondered what mr tan is most likely to say after you hit his head with a bat? well, i've been observing the state of his stupudity for quite some tmie now and have carefully planned what he might, should and will say.

whack 1
mr tan: eh, who threw a pillow at me?
whack 2
mr tan: my seizure is acting up
whack 3
mr tan: ouch! that hurts hor!
whack 4
mr tan: wait till you parents hear of this... wah.. veh pain!
whack 5
mr tan: my mother will get you!
whack 6
mr tan: ai ya! cant da han! MUMMY! SOMEONE BULLY ME! WAIL!! MUMMY! MUMMY!
whack 7
mr tan: I WANT MY MUMMY! actually, daddy also can. DADDY! HELP ME LEH!
whack 8
mr tan: i need phone! where's the phone. nevermind. [makes donkey noises. { apparently it's the only thing he's good at}]
whack 9
mr tan: pichilla [pricilla] help me!
whack 10
mr tan: hello. and you are?
whack 11
mr tan: hi! my name is cindy! may i be of any help?
whack 12
mr tan: barney is a dinosour in my imagination...
whack 13
mr tan: and on the third floor, we have women's wear...
whack 14
mr tan: why am i wearing this? wears my dress?
whack 15
mr tan: my name is sandra. go get me a dress! no.. i'm not a man! gogogo!
whack 16
mr tan: pizza hut delivery... this is janice! AND i'm a GIRLLLLLLLLLLLL!
4:02 AM

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation.Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life...You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material.You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

10:43 PM



okay. today was.. very interesting. sirin played dawan and amanda played kwai for sing to the dawn. amanda and sirin went to change for the play and when they came back, they wanted to write the names of their characters on their feet. so they wrote in pen and amanda decided that the ink was too light so she got cara to use marker on her foot. suddenly, sisrin realised that kwai [amanda's character] had boobs. so she was like " oh! KWAI HAS BOOBS! KWAI HAS BOOBS!" just then cara got up and we started laughing because cara had written " kwai has boobs" on her foot. then we walked to the drama studio and amanda wsa like " but i dont have any hair on my legs!" and i got this crazy idea to use a pen and draw fake hair on her legs. it WOULD make a lasting impression. it'll probably get people saying " oh my gosh! she doesnt shave?WELL HAH. NEITHER DO I." and everyone will give up shaving their legs and opt for waxing. then everyone will complain about the pain they have to endure and the decide to go for lazer. then they realise they need deep pockets and they buy custom made jeans with pockets so long it touches their shins. [these are refering to the idiots of st nicks. aka the female cohord of teachers]

then this class, they were doing the very tense scene with kwai and dawan and in the end they patch up. but the thing is.. IT'S SO LES! the hug and they completely ruin the image of sibling love! it's like they're portraying "the tale of two lovers".but man/ the girl can actually sing. and there was this other class... jenna or jana [i think it's spelt as jenna]'s class.. it was really.. good? they caught and bought two real live birds. and jenna was playing vichai, some ridiculous bully who was supposedly interested in dawan.

bao: you are [fast forward]...[something something] dawan!
vichai: o0 dawan [gives a perverted face]
dawan: [cowers behind bao]

but it was funny. then he proposed to dawan and it was really funny. [if i were feeling tickled that day, i wouldnt have laughed at it but.. I WAS DESPERATE FOR A GOOD LAUGH!] then after school was [urgh] guides.and [god help me] i [damn them] so annoyed. they finally gave out the cookies[at long last] that were ordered in july. i will emphasize on this. THEY GOT THE ORDERS IN JUNE! so why is it they only give the cookies, biscuits whatever you call them, now? damn these people!!!!!!! but.. i'll just thank my lucky stars they dont weigh a ton. but they weighed enough to make my hands feel numb after carrying around for a few minutes. and boy do they taste delicious!
5:05 AM



okay. so i was bored again. presenting a parody of sing to the dawn

DING TO THE DONG
[starring da-wan [big bowl], guai [good]]

da-wan: hello my darlings! let me intro duce myself. my name is da-wan. you can call me big bowl.
guai: and i am her sister, guai!
director[aka me]: eh eh eh! since when did YOU become big bowl's sister? big bowl doesnt have a sister! and you're a boy!
guai: but.. i already told you! i dont wanna be a boy.
da-wan: [whispers] he's gay okay. dont rub it in
director [aka me]: OH MY GAWD! YOU ARE GAY?!
guai: well.. as you can see.. DUH
da-wan: can we carry on?
director: nope. not until you get him to take of that wig and pantyhose. and please remove your make up guai.
guai: NO! I WONT! WONT! WONT!
da-wan: MARIO HAD A LITTLE LAME LITTLE LAME LITTLE LAME
guai: [prances about] come on sister [take hankie and does a ..um. rather disTURBING action] i dont wanna be late for school. mr whathisname will get angry and i LOOOOUUURVE it when he gets angry.
da-wan: wait. lets stop by the super bowl first
director: this is getting nowhere. I'M SICK OF IT! I DONT CARE! YOU ARE DOING THIS OR YOU ARE GOING TO DO THE YOU KNOW WHAT SCENE!
guai: NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! [runs around thrashing everything and whole cast lands in hospital]

I'M GOING TO BUY SEAWEED! i cant dahan. i'm super uber duper hungry.
4:03 AM



i feel wasted. not as in drunk wasted as in.. i feel as if i have nothing better to do. i spent the morning watching seasame street. then i watched martin yan. that guy need to go for some oral lessons. 'guava' becomes 'guwahwa'. stupid. and his recipes arent very original. rachel raye.. her shows are entertaining while they last and.. sometimes she's just a waste of time.. but the food looks really good on her show. because when i watch it, it's before i eat lunch. then there's the show with two surf dudes on it. they are most likely gay.. they talk about unnessescary things. like when they were cooking beet, one of them was like " ooo! hey look over there! that's a huge golfball" [camera zooms in on a horribly orange ball] then they showed a lump of dirt beside a few palm trees. then at the last 5 minutes of the show, they suddenly say " oh! it's done! aw it looks beautiful!" i think they were refering to the beet. or were they refering to the car which the man was looking at when he said his line? i couldnt tell. then there's jamie oliver the "naked chef". now. he is good. [i love this shade of orange] and i dont just say this because he is good looking. and married. and has a baby girl. and can cook and talk at the same time. can multi-task. so on and so forth. he's straight forward and the food looks REALLY really really appetizing. and he talks about how you can make meat more tender and stuff. it's just really interesting. all martin yan says is " quick and easy! quick and easy!"

just now i was watching arts central and they were filming two men cooking in a desert. who films in a desert? but they're good. they make it look so easy and interesting. and they really know how to have a good time. after finished eating the food they cooked, one of them was like " after all thet food, we've decided to excercise." and guess what they did? they took some cardboard and started sliiding down one of the many hills of sand there. and it looked so fun!! kinda reminds me of the time i went to ohio during winter. i pushed my friend down [he asked me to push him okay!] and i gave him a good push and he banged into a tree. then the snow fell on him. he emerged laughing. i really dont get it. he banged the tree. and squashed his nose against the tree. and he laughed. i really dont get him.
6:32 AM



THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA!

this is a RIDICULOUS movie. and a waste of money and time. i dont really have the time to watch anne hathaway [up up and away!] stand around and act pretty.i think be cool is a better movie. even though i have yet to dish out my sequel ACT COOL but.. nevermind that.

for the time being, here's a little something for you guys!

THE DEVIL EATS PRATA!!!!!!!!!
[starring the down right stupid, maryel strip[devil], aunt tupaware[prata store uncle] and some other guy whom i've forgotten]

devil: I HUN-GARY!!!!!! well.. i go eat prada!
the devil goes to every prada store and eats up alll the stock. [i still dont know if prada is a brand for bags or hats or clothes.]
devil: eeee! all not nice! faggedit. i go eat prata.

at the prata store

devil: [breathes fire{actually, it's more of soot really}] what the menu?
kosong uncle: eh... [picks his nose] got kosong got cheese got onion got egg got tomato got ice cream got.. OH MY GOSH! YOU HAS LICE ON YOUR HEADS!
devil: uh huh.. okay. i want 2 kosong 6 cheese 3 egg.
kosong uncle: 2kosong6cheese3egg
forgotten man: wah. eat so much. tsk tsk. you know ah. my uncle ah. he eat.. wah! he eat a lot a lot! den hor, later he gort diabietes and AIDS ah! eh it's true okay! he also gort.. arthritist and uhh.. he also gort lung cancer! in the end hor, he died. very sad right? ya la! so sad.. but not true one la! i tell you ah...
devil and kosong uncle: [in unison] SHUT UP YOU STUPID MORONICAL ASSHOLE!
forgotten man: okay la! no need to shout la!.oh ya. you know ah my auntie she recently died of...
devil: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH! I DONT CARE! SHUT UP BEFORE I EAT YOU UP INSTEAD YOU FOOL!
forgotten man: DING DING DING DING DING! THE PRATA READY LIAO!
devil: [eats everything in one gulp]
kosong uncle: okay. that will 35.90
devil:[breathes fire{it's soot really} yet again]
kosong uncle: okay okay! 3 dollar can! 3 dollar can!
6:38 AM



http://movies.msn.com/movies/scarycelebs?GT1=7701&photoidx=4
4:03 AM




8:54 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmLMaYpD_Gc

this is really stupid. got it off youtube. man. people are so hilarious these days. what next? harry potter and ron weasely are uber gay? well they already are but. nevermind that. i am so bored today. exceppt when i had lessons today. not any lessons as in maths tuition and stuff like that. i ended up reading my dad's collection of star trek. i dont even like sci-fi stuff. this just goes to show how bored i am today. sigh. i'm going back to my room to draw more stick people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0klirvmeki8

on the other hand, you guys must be really bored. go amuse yourselves with youtube clips.

6:26 AM



A Poetic Letter for Mentally unstable Aunt

Dear Aunt,

9:29 AM



this is stupid. i was bored so i began looking at vids from youtube. i was watching this parody on the song you're beatiful. but this time, a woman sang it, and there is always the possibility she went for sex change or wore some fake rubber thing or she just.. went half naked. because she took off 5 shirts but when they showed her, she had a guy's chest. and toned abs and a 6 pack. so it'a either one of them. then there was this guy who was singing a parody of edlewives. and he was singing about his asshole. instead of edlewives, he said anal vane. at the last sentence of every verse, he'd say god bless my asshole for ever. stupid. then there were a bunch of goons singing along to song from the lord of the rings. there was a guy in the foreground mouthing the words and there was a woman in the background doing god knows what. i think she was bouncing. then i watched this clip and apparently, they were trying to do a bad parody of some movie. i dont recall thename of the movie but.. they were sick. one guy was holding this big stick to his ..um.. down there and he was holding a can of beer in the other hand. and i believe he said " my name is [dont recall] and i'm holding a stick which is as big as my dick. this guy next to me is [dont recall] and he's full of [it was censored] [a series of foul words which were all censored]" i'm surprised at the amount of boredom people have these days.

today was shit.mr tan.. ruined the day. had a good laugh during english lit. made an ass of myself.. and. maths.. angles. got terribly bored. recess. met sarah long who sat with me and huiyi and both of them started taalking about maple [damn you people]. then we wondered around before going to the specstand. i refuse to talk about the rest of the day.

for english, i've decided that my word i'll be presenting shall be pervert.
word: pervert
meaning: go check the dictionary
sentence: jane thinks that andy knows that andre believes that our form teacher is a pervert.
i seriously dont have a better word. i suddenly realise i'm going bankrupt. i stuffed all of my extra money into a platic piggy bank which i think might break. i'm going to change it into cash. and get something nice for myself. seaweed. chocolate. insence stick. nice smelling candles. a good book. more food. a plant. another book. pork floss bread. a stuffed animal. a new piggy bank. i kinda realised that all of these are rather kiddy but.. they're nice. i'm going to sleep. i dont care if i flunk ting xie. see what that woman can do about it.
8:17 AM



i swear karma's gonna get me. i feel so rotten! today is Pin's birthday and i met her yesterday and i only had enough time to hop to the market to get a slice of cheese cake for her. so i therefore gave her that little slice of cheese cake. i dont even know how it tastes. but i do know it's crumble-ly.

so.. happy birthday Pin! and happy children's day for those who still celebrate...

i had chinese tuition today and guess what. she gives her junior colledge students children's day presents. i find that so sweet. probably because she gives them cake.. i'm going on a strict diet. no snacking in between meals. i was so hungry yesterday, i just grabbed whatever i found in the fridge and finished it in a jiffy. i feel like a glutton. i weighed myself today and, hallelujah. i didnt see any difference in my weight. but then again i dont always trust my weighing scale. i'm getting one next week. oh yes and i'm so happy!!!!! my parents agreed to get my an acoustic guitar after the exams are over. my dad was helping me study physics. 3/4 of the time i go " huh? what? velocity is what? speed? oh okay" why cant we have combined science? why? it'll be so much easier... you'll never forget any formulae because you'll be forced to remember it. but too much of mrs khong is bad for your mental health. bad bad bad i say. she nags and nags and nags and man you'll feel like killing her. however, the art teacher is worse. once she opens her trap, shit starts coming out. you just wanna take your shoe and shove it nito her throw. or make her swallow detergent. maybe it'll make her lose her voice. or better still. make her die.

speaking of die, i'm of hungry. i've resisted for 5 minutes and it aint going well. must eat something. nevermind. i'll wait till everyone's sleeping. then i can cook myself maggie mee and sit in front of the telly and no one can stop me! oh yes. it's my cousin's birthday!

happy birthday joshua! sorry i didnt get you anything. i have a good mind to get you deoderant.

alrighty. i'm ging back to the room to MUG. yes. MUG is some new word huiyi introduced to the class. i'lll imerge from the room 2 hours from now barely alive. someone kill my fast.
6:42 AM