this is the first time i'm blogging on my birthday. thanks everyone who wished me a happy birthday!

this is what my parents told me today:

happy birthday girl! i go run marathon now ah!
-mom

eh! why are you watching this... this cartoon thing (anime)! today is your birthday! you should be studying!
-dad

and my sister was emo-ing out on the couch all day pretending to look feverish (i'm not being mean. trust me. i've seen her do this many times. and it is fake!)

so my parents came home and i wanted to go out and buy stuff to make mitarashi dango and immediately, my ill sister jumped up from the couch stating that she has dancing class. but she wanted to go to the supermarket so my mom let her skip.

then after scooting around the mall like an idiot trying to find ingredients (i accidentally spilt an open bag of bamboo skewers. it was so embarrassing) and trying to find my hiding mom from among the aisles, i come across this mitarashi dango pre-mix.

i wanted to stab the packet. i was looking for all kinds of funny sounding rice flour and glutinous rice powder and mirin, which my dad misheard for 'urine' ("urine? why you need urine? down here where to find?"), only to find this... this silly pre-mix right in front of me.

i was crouching by the shelf trying to see the english names of the flour.

then when i stand up, there it is! on the top shelf!

so anyway, i bought candy and we ate bento for dinner. by the time we got home, all the crispy stuff was all soggy. but it was still nice.

poptarts rock!
6:41 AM



yesterday we celebrated teachers day. well, actually, everyone but me was celebrating teachers day. i have basically given up on buying presents for teachers. but of course with a few exceptions.

1, if i am able to remain happy ten days before teachers day.

2, if the teachers are nice. (number two doesn't really apply if number one doesn't work out)

so from 8 to 10, it was maths drill. i had the worst time ever keeping up. so towards the end i crawled to the back of class and started talking to annice about twilight, some local movie, and digimon. don't ask. i forgot how the topics came to end at digimon.

then we went to the hall and watched all the teachers play pictionary. min yee was bent making 'contact' with me. she tells me that every time a person makes contact with someone or something, a thousand cells die. scary, eh? then we were having a smack-fest. she hit me so hard, that her hand print was still on my leg 20 minutes later! I'LL SUE YOU MINYEE FOR CAUSING ME DISTRESS! MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

but she gave me a nice little cupcake for my early present so i partially forgiven her. (by partially i mean like, 20%)

on thursday, we had to go for the NJRC presentation. we spent 3 hours talking about junk and changing the teacher's laptop wallpaper before we presented.

it sucked.

so anyways, we came back for CCA and debra was watching prom night and xi yuan and i were flooding xiwen's tag board. and my juniors were busy laughing at some show they were watching. my curiosity got the better of me so i went over to see what they were watching.

it was some jap man trying to speak english. it was so hilarious. but the gross part is that if the students laughing while watching him, they get their behinds canned (yes. i know. ew. )



and here's another one from kevjumba!


7:16 PM



i was youtubing again and i found this really good french singer, Emilie Simon. there is this video Dame de Lotus that it really really cool. the video is really nice. and there's a little chinese -y music in the background. it's a nice song.



and here's another one. the beginning's a bit weird so consider yourselves warned. good video. i realise it's all very floral.



this one's in english. same person. this one's a personal favorite! the animation characters are so cute! the song and the video make a strange combi. cuz it's all gloomy and she's singing about... flowers.



this one is also in english, called desert. and the video features ... you guessed it! more flowers! but this time, she pulls them out from an opening on her arm. no blood! haha


7:20 AM



school. is. so. firetrucking. boring.

i. hate. school.

the. teachers. are. super. sedated.

today during maths, i shifted to the back to sit next to elizabeth cuz i was bored of writing over the 'National Education' post it that has incoherent sentences in faint ink in the background (we must ourselves defend or something along the lines of bad grammar). i wrote about cows, dried fruits, and if i remember correctly, fish.

then all of a sudden, i was being pelted with markers with those stamp like thingies on the end of the marker. huiyi and elizabeth, if you're reading this, I CAN'T GET IT OFF. AND HUIYI THAT SPIRAL YOU STAMPED ON MY THIGH IS SUPER PROMINENT. damn you! now my arm really looks diseased!

and as if that wasn't amusing enough, elizabeth and cheng mei started having a little game of tic tac toe on my wrist. haha elizabeth was winning but cheng mei cheated on put a huge "O" that stretched over two spaces.

Lixin! i know you are reading this! AT LEAST TAG AND SAY HELLO!
4:53 AM



i fell asleep early last night. or evening i should say. and i had this weird dream where everyone was in negatives (you know, the camera function that make people look dark or white when their actually opposite.... which meant that i had a black skin tone. I'M NOT BEING RACIST!) and everyone just walks around and when they open their mouths the national anthem starts playing.

then suddenly the colour comes back and i start falling into this hole that just so happened to appear from under me. as i was falling i saw a light and just as i was about to fall into it...

yeap. i hit my head and woke up. i swear. i'll burn that bed frame when my sister no longer needs it. it's friggin hazardous. but pretty useful considering the fact that i haven't fallen out of bed so far. BUT ONLY BECAUSE MY CONSTANT HEAD BANGING AGAINST THE SILLY LADDER KNOCKS ME AWAKE BEFORE I FALL.

so i went to the doctors and was having a glare competition when one of the guys who worked there. he said my weight so loudly. i wanted to head-butt him. all the people who work there were pretty loud too. there was this lady who i assumed was just going for the new student check up thingy (check eyesight, check for any bodily abnormalities, blood test urine test, and the weighing and stuff) and then the counter woman yelled her name and asked her very loudly

"how big is your wart ah?! hah? say what? can draw out anot? liddat not considered small you know!"


and i was sitting right in front so... i GUESS i wasn't reallllllly eavesdropping.

i was watching this hilarious kevjumba video and his dad is so funny. haha not intensionally i bet but still.



nuts! and the yellow m&m's part was kinda funny (you know.. the standard labeling for asians... huang pi. haha)



here's another one with the woman with the youtube account name "happyslip"


3:50 AM



you know how some asians pronounce their "l"s as "r" vice versa and their 'b"s as "v"? i was goofing around on uncyclopedia and i came across this article :

Engrish

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“I know he rocar cause he no use good glammal!”

~ Landom Asian on Vad Glammal

haha here's my translation for you slow ones"

"i know he local cause he no use good grammer!"
-random asain on bad grammer

i'm just going to edit the spelling errors! it's just too funny!

they've got a handfull of quotes hahaha read the article here .yea you click on the "here" word. why? because current technology allows me to insert a link in one word! fascinating isn't it?

haha here are the quotes with translations

Quotes

'It's erection day at schoor to detelmine the new crass readels"

it's election day at school to determine the new class leaders

"You ale worthress Arec Barrwin!"

you are worthless alec ballwin(?!)

"Comme ci comme ca!"

(what the hell)

"I learry rike rocky road."

i really like rocky road.

"I'm a ritter vit ronery!"

i'm a little bit lonely!

"You Amelicans neber tark nomar."

you americans never talk normal!

"GOD DAMN MONGORIANS!"

GOD DAMN MONGOLIANS! (i didnt write this. i swear!)

"Oh, herro."

oh, hello.

"No Smorking. Vanning wirr happen"

no smoking. banning will happen

"Bat ale you sinking avout?"

what are you thinking about?

"Oh, clap!"

oh, crap!

"I think I thoo eye puthicath"

i think i saw a puddycat? (i haven't the foggiest)

"I'm a fawking rovstal bish!"

i'm a fawking lobster whaa?

"Arr your vase are verong to us!"

all your base are belong to us!

"Vonjoul"

bonjour

"Se faile ra bise"

.....

"Belubetto Levoruva"

bald leopard

"Ooh! Led Snappah!"

ooh! red snappah!

"Gaw' damn Mogrowrians!!!! You leck my shitty waw!!"

gaw' damn monglorians!!!! you reck my shitty whackadingdingidunnoewhatthisis

"I'm just a simpull Shinese man lunnin my Shitty Wak!"

i'm just a simple chinese man running my shitty wok?

"Chirdlen, crap youl hands with Ermo!"

children, clap your hands with elmo!

"Herro, Shitty Wok, oh just a second. Herro Shitty Ailrines"

hello, shitty wok, oh wait a second. hello shitty airlines!

"Ret's arr crap fol dis man's erection bictoly!"

let's all clap for this man's election victory!

"Cut face, 500 yen"

square butt, 500 yen

"Sow wirr dat ve 2 shitty flied lice?"

so will that be two shitty fried rice?

"I learry rike fried lice."

i really like fried rice

"ITS FRIED RICE YOU PLICK!!!!"

IT'S FRIED RICE YOU PRICK

"Ooh, you ugry vrack one."

ooh, you ugly black one.

"I'm so rownrey."

i think this says "i'm so lonely" again.

"Vat you mean Japanrese pee pore habing tluvre plonouncing rettel aal[r] and rettel ewrr[l]?"

what you mean japanese people having trouble pronounce letter "r" and letter "l"?

"Fack you man!!"

understood worldwide.

"C'mon twinkre, why don't you crap youl hands?!" -Koda Kumi

c'mon twinkle, why dont you clap your hands?

"Wen sniff Glue, head get learry right."

when sniff glue, head get really light.

"Mistel Winkrel is GAY!!1! He is the wolst teachel ebel he SUXS!!2!"

mister winkler is GAY!!! he is the worst teacher ever he SUX!!! (tis sounds like bobby lee)

"Lememvel to Mayol Youl peers" - Ming Rou on measuling peliods.

incomprehensible.

11:48 PM





this thing is so cool. and yea. anonymous fowl was a name i came up with. don't insult it. it'll be a well known name. one day.
4:20 AM



i probably should be studying now but i'm too lazy. and my books are so far away..... (in short, i'm lazy)

but anyways. this friday, everyone is going to stand in the middle of the road under the scorching sun while blabbering the pledge incoherently. this 'magical' and 'once in a lifetime experience' of saying the pledge in the middle of the road probably only lasts like, what, less than 5 minutes. yet we have to report to school 3 hours in advance. i think the school is embarrassed of how weird the situation would be if one or two people fainted of heat stroke during the 'magical' moment. so they figured

"why not let the whole upper primary and all of the secondary sections stand for three hours before the spectacular grand event? then they'd get all jelly-legged and they'll all faint together! looks nicer that way! then we can say we made them fall down on purpose. definitely better than one or two people fainting at a time."


seriously. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO JUST STANDING THERE LIKE BOZOS FOR THREE HOURS. i repeat. THREE HOURS (the power of repetitions!).


we should all bring those little collapsible doremon fans and wear bright yellow duck hats on our heads and sing "kumbaya my lord" AND force the elder folk of the school to join us in our little merry making. and because they seem so miffed about our lack of human decency (not kowtowing whenever the elder folk walk past) we'll hang our heads as if we're mourning. in return they'd have to greet us back. how? they'd have to do a whole 90 degree bend. for all those years in primary school we stupidly went to bow whenever they walked by.

only to be COMPLETELY IGNORED.

chem chem go away come again some other day.
3:36 AM



i got a call just now from this weird dude. weird weird weird dude i tell you.

man: hello! my name is %$*))(&
me: hello?
man: hello! my name is(*^(*^*&%
me: right.
man: who are you?
me: what the
man: who are you? open your door.
me: i think you've got the wrong number. and how did you get my number?
man: no no! my name is &^)(*&*&%
me: how did you get this number.
man: (something something) business man! business girl!
me: goodbye.

people nowadays are cukoo. who calls and asks "who are you?" honestly. couldn't they think of a better script to use as a prank call conversation? che.
8:58 PM



for the last three days, i've been horrendously bored. it's the whole "teacher comes in i stand up, greet, sit down fall asleep and say wake up to say goodbye" scenario. borrrrrrrrrrrrrring.

chinese teacher didnt come for the last two days. so everyone starts running up and down class trying to achieve the greatest noise ever made from a group of 30 odd people award.

maths teacher was present for all three days. i dont know how to comment on this. i was probably asleep for most of the lessons. oh and did you know that whenever i zone out, lixin tells me that i look like i'm paying attention. cool huh!

and flabby chem teacher was also, unfortunately fortunately, present. she'll scribble unreadable things on the board, hollar, laugh ( God knows what she was laughing at ), and of course, go "IT'S SO SIMPLE. IF YOU DONT KNOW THIS BY KNOW, YOU'LL FAIL."
someone hand her a chill pill.

english teacher... well..... she comes in class one day and tells us that we have a compre test that she just heard about the day before. and yesterday while we were supposed to do an activity, she was going on about her daughter. that person can go on for hours and no one will give a hoot about what she's saying.

and social studies teacher. two words: NOODLE HEAD.

oh the other day my dad was in the papers cuz he was doing some interview. my mom saw the paper, walked up to my dad and told him "you look fat."
8:31 PM